Should I have wedding toasts?

Do YOU think you should have wedding toasts?

In my opinion, Yes, yes you should have wedding toasts. It is one of the very few, if only, times that you get to hear the heartfelt thoughts of those whom you love spoken in a setting that will be remembered always. It also serves as your loved ones opportunity to speak from the heart and put careful consideration and thought into their emotions for you on your beautiful day. Toasts are a way for people to share their treasured thoughts about you and draw attention to you as a couple and what your beautiful event is all about.

When to toast …

If you’re having a formal wedding, toasts are usually delivered after the meal but before the dancing. However, wedding timelines vary, and utilizing the dinner hour is a good way to elongate dinner and get the most out of your dinner hour.

What order to toast …

Wedding toasts should go in an order that makes sense to you.

The order and timing of toasts can vary. Often, the father of the bride or the hosts of the event will give a toast as soon as guests have seated for dinner, thanking them for attending and congratulating the newlyweds. This will be followed by the best man and maid of honor, who may speak immediately following the hosts or later during dinner service. The final toast is by the newlyweds, who again can immediately follow the best man and maid of honor, or who can choose to save their toast until the end of the meal, concluding their toast with an invitation to the dance floor. If the parents of the groom are planning to speak during the reception, their toast should occur after the parents of the bride, before the maid of honor and best man.

That said, often ending with one of the most important people in your life adds to a meaningful and heartfelt closure to this very touching segment of your wedding day. This means you should start with very close friends, and then likely end with some words from your parents. Here is a sample outline:

Maid of Honor
Best Man
Bride’s Mom and / or Dad
Groom’s Mom and / or Dad
A few words from the couple - this is optional, but I encourage you to take it as an opportunity to acknowledge four key contributors:

recognize your significant other and your love as the reason you are all here.
personally recognize and thank any key family or friends who greatly contributed to your relationship or wedding celebration.
Thank your guests who have taken time out of their lives to celebrate your relationship and this life milestone.
If you enjoyed the service you have received by those whom you’ve employed to assist in your celebration (ie. your Caterer, DJ, Florist, Wedding Planner, etc.) it will make their day to be recognized for their contributions.

It’s wise to set the speaking order in advance and have one trustworthy person (typically me 😀) in charge of passing the mic. This dictates order for the speakers as well as sets a tone for the guests to expect order and not an open mic. (more on that later)

Should I have an open mic at the end of the toasts?

Do YOU think you should have an open Mic at the end of your wedding toasts?

In my opinion, no. Once you open the mic to a bunch of slightly drunk people, you might never get to move on to the rest of the night. Pick the handful of people that you love the most and want to speak, which truly honors their presence, and let everyone else share their thoughts with a warm embrace throughout the night. You may also consider providing any others guests who you believe will want to speak the opportunity to do so the night before at your rehearsal dinner or a celebratory next day brunch.

What should be included in a wedding toast?

A general great toast formula is stay short and sweet.

I love you both so much.
Insert anecdote or a story about the couple and how great they are, and how much you love them.
I hope you are always happy.
Toast!